Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
My brain says no but my pants say off.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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