I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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