no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize