do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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