It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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