i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Shame - the story of my life.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
