Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize