If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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