so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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