I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
