Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Holy shit dude........stairs
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