Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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