You're so nebulous sometimes
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
