too bad you live with your parents still
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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