Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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