did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
