You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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