I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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