i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She told me I should be a condom model.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
