I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
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