He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
