Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
