We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
