So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
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Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
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Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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