I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
