Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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