dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
