I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
we're so committed to being not committed
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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