Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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