I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
