Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize
