So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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