Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize