Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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