I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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