yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Randomize
