Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
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Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
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There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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