I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
