Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
