he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
