haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
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She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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