I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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