As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
