Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
