Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize