in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
