I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
