a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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