You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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