3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
