She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
