so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
