I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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