Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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