just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
