One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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