I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
