i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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