never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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