You can't special order awesome
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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